Epicvivor has had a lot of shitty, unmemorable seasons (that's its brand) but this has to be one of the worst. It was shittily thrown together when I realized I wanted one more season pre-all-stars (my obsession with returnee seasons was strong back then) and it just turned out...awful. Pre-merge I thought it was meh and none of the pre-merge boots were that robbed (with one exception) so I thought it could be a mid-tier season, but at the merge the AWFUL alliance of Celestia/Teenager/Tasha ruled the game and slaughtered the three remaining good characters in a row. This ended up with Nate winning, which was probably the best result of the f3 but Overall this season is one of, if not the least known of the series, and for very good reason.

10. Celestia (Blondiee, 3rd place)

Oh god, this demon. Celestia made it to third place despite having no discernible personality other than talking in lowercase. Thankfully, because of the way Gambia shook out, she ruled the game with an iron fist. Celestia was a boring awful dictator, and her descisions on the boot order from the final 6 on essentially ruined the season, slaughtering the 3 best remainin characters in a row. Other than hating entertainment, she had no personality of herself and she didn't even WIN to get validated as a mastermind, as Plat tossed her aside at the final 3. Shitty character who ruined the season is a great archetype, right?

9. Missfoxytasha (Platypus09, Runner-up)

Take Celestia, give her no real game power, and what do you get? Missfoxytasha! I appreciate Plat for attempting a personality at least (I remember her spouting a few THEN QUITs) but it was barely evident, plus she was a loyal foot soldier to the Celestia axis of evil. She did nothing throughout the entire season but enable, and then when she won the final immunity challenge she smartly cut Celestia....and still lost. To NATE. That's next-level uselessness. Overall, she just helped ruin the season without being interesting herself, yet somehow returned for all-stars where she was....even worse, if possible, but we'll get to that later (but not TOO much later if ya catch my drift ;))

8/7. Lillyana Gomez and Guy Davis (Shadowgeoff, 10th and 7th place)

SG had a long streak of playing 2 in Epicvivor and them both beign borewhores. I think it was his way of getting back at me for SGVivor. I remember literally nothing of what these two did, so bye!

6. Quien Bae-Ra (1dra7, 8th place)

A flop foreign language character made even floppier by the fact that Dra realized upon elimination no one on webchat could see anything he said and it all came out as 0101010101 <3

5. Typical Teenager (NateNJ14, Winner)

I have mixed feelings on Typical Teenager. She was part of Celestia's crew, and enabled them to dominate until the final 3, but she herself was kind of funny. Plus the novelty of NATE winning an RP <3  She's not really anything special though, in terms of the seasons or winners. Plus, factor in that she's basically the exact same character as Sydney and she becomes a little worse. 

4. Devin BB16 (EnTrey, 9th place)

This RP happened at the start of BB16 (an equally good season) and so Devinmania was still running rampant in the BB house. Couple that with the fact that Matt basically plays like Devin normally in RPs, and you got something hilarious. Despite only being in for two rounds, he was constantly making and breaking deals for no reasons and stating his targets out loud in main. His early elimination was really disappointing- he was a hilarious force and could've been great later on.

3. Ella (Nduke, 6th place)

This RP also happened shortly after TDPI's airing. Ella was a departure from normal Duke characters, as a lot of the time he plays OCs who are mean and bitchy and boring. Ella, however, was nice and happy and ^_^ which was a refreshing change in the dark cesspool of Gambia. On top of that, her showmance with Bradlie was adorbs and they were two of the only saving graces of the season. But don't worry, because this is Gambia she got slaughtered right at the merge by the awful alliance.

2. Hazel (Sunslicer2, 5th place)

In a lot of ways, Hazel was as big a season ruiner as Tasha and Celestia. She enabled that alliance for most of the beginning and seemed tight with them. But inside that axis of boring, Hazel was sort of a shining light of source. She was normal and nice, but she wasn't boring. And I loved her story arc, where she started a loyal Celestia minion but quickly became more disillusioned. At her boot TC, she was over her alliance completely and yelling at the rest of the cast to vote out Celestia. Overall, Hazel was a fun character who actually had an arc, which was hard to find this RP.

1. Bradlie (Ben109, 4th place)

Could it be anyone else? Bradlie was really the star of the season, and one of the only redeemable qualities. In a season filled with strategy filled bores, it was great to see someone more character focused and hwo had an actual personality. He had lots of plotlines, including his relationship with Ella which was pretty adorbs. He was also like the last hope for a good winner of the RP, so he became the ultiimate underdog. I remember in the jury chat where everyone was rooting for him so hard, and was crushed when he was blindsided. Bradlie's first season was iconic, and  it paved the way for his even more iconic stint on All-Stars.

Hint for #21- More than 2 tribes



The more I reflect on Jamaica, the less I like it as a season. It was Epicvivor's GLORIOUS RETURN after All-Stars, and it looked promising at the beginning. Epicvivor isn't known for big casts, so it was awesome to get 16, and the 4 tribes of 4 twist ended up working awesomely, so that each tribe lost exactly once before the merge. I was so excited for the merge to see how things would shake out. The merge started off with a unanimous vote, somehow, and then a quit. I thought there was still hope and it was just a rough patch. An irrelevant was blindsided, and thent wo relevant people left in a row in blindsides, and I was excited. Then I realized how little I cared about everyone left. 2/7 of the remaining characters only said their name or BOCK BOCK BOCK and 2 barely spoke whatsoever. When Perd left at the final 7, I felt down on the seasons prospects, but Groot and Clucky leaving in a row was the beginning of the end. Especially when it was revealed Dylan and SG were both playing two and they were the entire final four. Overall, Jamaica might look good on paper but in practice it was filled with boring, annoying and irrelevant characters.

16. Amethyst (Blondiee, 10th place)

My first write-up was wrong: Dylan actually played THREE characteres this season! He just lied and said this was a camps user. Anyway, Amethyst had no real discernible personality and did nothing for basically her entire time in the game, until she got an untimely blindside in the early merge. I wish I cared more about her blindside, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth wasting any breath on, much like her herself!

15. Nora Dyse (Shadowgeoff, 4th place)

Like Dylan, SG played two in this season. While one of them was decent and I didn't mind making it far, NoraDyse was literally nothing. Her character was that she was the opposite of the now iconic RP troll Laura Dyse, who was extremely loud and vulgar, so she was quiet and nice. The only thing is...she did absolutely nothing. Like, literally nothing. I don't remember ANYTHING Nora Dyse said, yet she somehow made it to the final four by virtue of playing two. Thankfully even SG realized she sucked and he sacrificed her at final 4. 

14. James (Blondiee, 1st place)

I liked James for a large portion of the RP. I thought he was funny because everyone assumed it was just some camps user who didn't know how RPs worked, and it was entertaining to see him be completely clueless. I liked him less as the numbers whittled down but he was still okay...then we got to final 5 and I realized it was Dylan playing two. And then he WON. I don't love all of my winners but I appreciate most of them but James's win is just irredemable. He did nothing the whole game and was basically just an unfunny troll character. The fact that he was in the f3 with two much better people makes his win all the more infuriating as well. Probably the worst winner in Epicvivor history.

13. Gator (NateNJ14, 14th place)

Gator was based on a random from Survivor Berkshires, and then he quit for no apparent reason. Yay Nate!

12. Kelly Sharbaugh (Sunslicer2, 15th place)

This is the second Kelly Sharbaugh parody in Epicvivor alone. I guess she was such a big character in Samoa that people are flocking to play her? Anyway, she never spoke and left second. Yay Sunny!

11. Benji's Mom (Jaxswim, 16th place)

Benji's Mom was a strict goddess who was hilarious and could be a good character, but thankfully she got forced into firemaking and murdered at the first TC :) gr8 season!

10. Neda-Toadeh (Thebiggesttdifan, 13th place)

Neda Toadeh was a whole character based on the fact that survivorsucks user Neda/Strategy/Social HATED Toad with a passion for a while and would constantly drag him in public places. The whole character was just mocking Toad over stupid shit, and it was hilarious. Him going early might have been for the better, as I could see him getting stale, but basically everyone this season got stale so

9. Zach Rance (Nduke, 8th place)

This season also happened during the BB16 phase, and so two people form it got played. Zach was an okay parody. He seemed like Zach from Big Brother but he wasn't very...interesting in anyway. Him blindsiding Christine was cool, but outside of that I don't really remember any moments. Still, Duke gets points for actually trying, unlike lots of people this season.

8. Flirty Christine (Platypus09, 9th place)

Christine was another BB16 person, but she had a little bit of a twist on her by accentuating the fact that she flirted with Cody the whole time while being married. Christine flirted with everyone and it was funny, but she didn't really do much else. Again, I appreciate Plat for at least trying to make a character, and she got blindsided around the right time. Overall, Christine was just...pretty boring.

7. Typical SG Character (Shadowgeoff, Runner-up)

Typical SG Character was the second person SG played in this RP, andby far the better one. His shtick was obviously just being like every character SG plays- random snarky people. This character would be fine as a normal runner-up, but SG playing two sort of ruins the whole thing for me. Paired with the fact that SG Char would go invisible for long periods of time and you have an okay character that never made the jump into great.

6. Robloxfan1000 (Owenandheatherfan, 11th place)

I have canser. Robloxfan was actually a good joke character who didn't overstay their welcome, unlike......literally everyone else this season lol. Him getting medevaced because of canser was the icing on top

5. Perd Hapley (EnTrey, 7th place)

By all accounts, I should adore Perd Hapley. From Parks and Recreation, had an actually funny gimmick compared to everyone else, wasn't playing five people. However, I never reallly connected with Perd. Hes a great character, and he definitely made me laugh, but I don't think it's a character that works as well through text. He was still super funny and MUCH better than most of the cast tho!

4. MakosiGodessa (Blondiee, 3rd place)

So, this one has a bit of history. Essentially, on Big Brother UK, there was a contestant named Makosi, whow as a hilarious fierce goddess etc. Now, wiki user GalaxyRemixZ also known as Jordan was smitten with her, and decided to put her in every story he tried to write ever and glorify her to no end. This is where our friend Dylan comes in. Makosi was just a prody of how Jordan thinks of her, which was to say a giant mary sue (2013 is that u @the word mary sue) I was a bit sour on her right after the RP due to the Dylan playing the entire cast debacle, but in the rearview mirror she's just kind of hilarious to me.

3. Groot (Ben109, 6th place)

Some may say I'm entirely overrating Groot, and to that I say....well yeah. All he said in the game was I am Groot, and the fact that he got to 6th doing that in aseason already low on shining stars is kinda yikes. But Groot was really just a fun character, and a nice one- in a rather negative season, having Groot be all happy and I Am Groot :) went a long way. Props for being one of the only members of the merged cast who didnt make me want to rip my hair out as a winner option.

2. Clucky (1dra7, 5th place)

Yes, sadly, saing BAWK BAWK BAWK isn't enough to get you to #1. In the bizarro land of a season that we call Epicvivor Jamaica, Clucky was tghe major underdog post-merge and my favorite to win. There was just something weirdly endearing and funny abt Dra doing all hsi challenge dominating and strategizing in the form of a chicken who onlys aid BAWK BAWK BAWK. I'll admit, part of what elevates Clucky this high, is her/dra's epic meltdown when finding out that the f4 was just Dylan/SG playing two. When even the chicken thinks your endgame is bad, that's when you know.

1. Luna Platz (COKEMAN11, 12th place)

Yes, the 12th placer is the #1 for the season. Jamaica was tre quality. Luna was the merge boot of Jamaica, and I can't think of anyone who could've done it better. Form day 1 she was bossy and abrasive, acting controlling over her tribe even though she grasped no real power. She was kind of a bitch, but not in the drawn out done to death regular RP way. She felt new and fun and fresh. What really propells her to number 1 for me is the circumstances of her boot. I carried 4 tribes to the merge of Jamaica just to see what kind of trainwreck would happen. Well, no kind of trainwreck happened at all, because literally eveyrone in the game decided they were over Luna and despite 4 seperate tribes merging, it was an 11-1 vote to eliminate Luna. This was such a hilar end to her character, it really wwrapped up her storyline for me. I'd love to have Luna return some day- she was one of the only shining lights in a dreadful season



Sigh. When I think of All-Stars, I think of wasted potential. The season looked promising- it was a new returnee season! It had a whopping 18 person cast with 18 seperate users competing! 3 tribes! All signs pointed to All-Stars being iconic- and for the first few rounds, it was. The cast was fun, the votes were exciting, everything clicked. Post-swap I noticed a lot of people started to get quieter but there will still shining stars. However, after Grandma's boot two of the best people in the season were slayed by an ill-timed double boot. However, what really killed the season was the second swap when there shuld have been a merge. At this point, all the energy of the season completely died. Part of this was my fault, I wasn'osting got tired and uncaring. The boot order was pretty awful, leading to an unremarkable f3 with an unremarkable winner. Overall, I think All-Stars was a trip in wasted potential. I really wish it was a goo dseason, but it just isn't.

18. Katie Katie (LongLiveLion, 10th Place)

Malawi- Runner-up

Blood vs Water- 6th place

GOD @her being #18. This is gonna be a long ranking. Anyway, Katie Katie was fun in her original season. Her obsessive showmancing of fahrwood was funny in sort of a Sierra way, she was dynamic for a mika character, overall she was good. Her BvW appearance was a little less grand, but was good overall. This Katie Katie however......THIS Katie Katie was a mess. For starters she was on Mogo Mogo, which was definitely the awful tribe with all the forgettable characters. Second of all, her main motivation, Fahrwood, was voted out fourth. Now, I wouldn't think this would be a problem- Katie made it to the finals when Fahrwood didn't in Malawi. However, after Fahrwood left Katie just decided....I'm gonna be awful! She was vulgar, she was annoying, she never shut up. And 10th place might not look like she made it very far but in an 18 person cast, that means she was around for NINE rounds. Just basically trolling for 5 of them. Yeah....this is why you don't invite Mika to your all-stars series.

17. Marcus (Mroddy, 7th place)

Fans vs Favorites- 2nd Runner-Up

I had wanted Marcus to come back for a long time prior to this. His flirtatious character with both guys and girls was a highlight of FvF, and him being the only fan to make the final 3 was certainly impressive. However, instead of being a fun flirt this season just like FvF, Marcus decided he would be obsessed with twerking. This was a random change that really added nothing good to the season. And this combined with the fact that his entire tribe took it on and one of the tribe chats was just twerking for a while, Marcus pretty much deraield completely from his previous character and managed to derail his whole tribe with it too. gg!

16. Missfoxytasha (Platypus09, 9th place)

Gambia- Runner-up

lol @this piece of driftwood. Tasha was honestly just ~a seashell on the beach~ this season. She had even less of a discernible personality than in Gambia, she made no strategic moves, her presence wasn't noticed...she just felt barely there. She was also on the awful tribe, and was Marcus's right hand man, which means she did all of his twerking stuff with him. And just like Marcus and Katie, she made it pretty deep in the game considering it was an 18 person cast. 9th place means she was in for 10 rounds. And in those rounds she never really showed a personality. Overall, she was just as bad as her OG season, and idk why I brought her back really.

15. Grandma (GhostNoises, 13th place)

Cambodia- 4th place

Grandma is basicalyl the start of the borewhore slaughter of the season. She was a fun character in Cambodia because of others interacted with her and treated her as their grandma. In All-Stars however she just...sat. All-Stars Grandma was basically just....there, taking up space and barely talking. This might seem like a harsh ranking, but I really wanted her to do well and in the end she was a total bore.

14. Typical Teenager (NateNJ14, 17th place)

Gambia- Winner

God, talk about forgettable. If you held me at gunpoint and asked me to name everyone in this season, Teenager would be without a doubt the person I forget about. She was only in for two rounds, did absolutely nothing, and got booted unanimously iirc. What a gr8 character!

13. Fahrwood (Avery FireFlame, 15th place)

Malawi- 6th place

Blood vs Water- 4th place

This was the first Epicvivor returne season where none of Fritz/Cat/Rory came back, forcing all of Fire/Dra/Toad to play different characters. It had mixed results- Fahrwood who was known for his wit and snark in both seasons felt sorta...flat? this time around. He was seperated from KatieKatie, his main plotline, which may have been part of the reason but I felt like there was no fire there. In the end, I was sad about his early boot, but not too sad iykwim.

12. Optimus Prime (SpaceWeather, 14th place)

Midway Island- 4th place

This was heatbreaking, tho. Optimus was the last relevant person from the Midway Island merge to not return (catch NachoMan's return to Epicvivor coming soon) and so him coming back was a full on event for me, as I had been trying to get it to happen for like 3 seperate returnee seasons now alol. However, Optimus ended up on Chapera (I believe), which was the tribe full of stars, and couldn't really ompete. I was so busy trying to control three tribes I didn't get to see much interaction at th ebeginning of this season, so Optimus kinda faded into the background for me until he got robbed in a double boot. As much as I'd like to rank him higher for being a legend, he really didn' anything this season.